are you friends?

My last post was about the secret to a happy marriage. If you read it, you learned that it’s a deep friendship based on mutual respect and honor!

You know that your positive feelings about your partner outweigh the negative ones when:

  1. You want to spend time together.
  2. You want to share your hopes, dreams, and secrets with your partner.
  3. You treat your partner with respect.
  4. You do not intentionally embarrass your partner.
  5. In the middle of a fight, one of you can do something silly and make the other one laugh or smile.
  6. You are able to recover after a fight.
  7. You do not have feelings of contempt or disgust in your partner (note: actions can disgust you, I’m referring to disgust in who your partner is).
  8. You usually are able to give the benefit of the doubt.
    1. You know that he or she didn’t hurt you intentionally.
    2. You give your partner a chance to explain before you assume the worst.
I do not pretend that any marriage is perfect. A marriage is made up of two imperfect human beings. I’m only suggesting that even when mistakes are made, couples who share a deep friendship are able to recover from those mistakes (like hurt feelings, disrespect, etc.) and continue feeling positively about each other.

Stay tuned for my next post on practical ways to reconnect with examples from my own marriage!

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