Resolutions are for idealists who live in la-la-land, right? More and more I’m hearing this: “I don’t make resolutions because I never keep them.” I completely understand. It’s difficult to continually be confronted and disappointed by our own inability to live the life we think we “should” be living. Most of us know we “should” work out more, eat better, drink less, sleep more, spend more time with family and friends…you get the idea.

May I suggest some resolutions for our resolution disillusion?

1. Start small. For instance, if you do not currently exercise, it is unrealistic to think you’ll be working out every day. Make a goal to exercise more and build on that.
2. Know yourself. If you hate going to the gym and walking/running on the treadmill feels like a slow, painful death, do not join a gym! If you enjoy dancing, yoga, biking, etc. find a way to do what you love. You’re more likely to keep your goals if you make them for yourself and not for someone else. You do not need to fit anyone else’s definition for success.
3. Simply strive to be better than you are. You define that. Not the folks around you. Stop comparing your insides to other people’s outsides. Believe me, NO ONE has a perfect life no matter how much it may look that way. Live life according to your values, not your to-do list.
4. Practice gratitude. This alone will motivate you to be more kind, more patient, more loving, and more joyful. It will be easier to keep your goals because you feel better in general. Nothing kills motivation quite like feeling sorry for yourself or being depressed. Continually remind yourself to focus on what you have rather than what you don’t.
5. Soak in moments. Learn to recognize and then pause to appreciate a scent, taste, feeling, or sight… Give yourself permission to soak it in and appreciate the little gifts we get every day.
6. Begin verbalizing the positive things you think about others and yourself. It’s amazing what making someone smile can do for your own self-esteem and joy.
7. Ask for help. If you believe the past, depression, anxiety, relationships, addiction, or something else is hindering you from achieving your goals; I hope you’ll consider counseling a viable option to help you get past those barriers. You do not have to do it alone.

Good luck and Happy New Year, friends!

My dad will be the first one to tell you he isn’t perfect. He’ll tell you he’s made a lot of mistakes. Big ones even. As a child, I thought my dad could do no wrong. He was my superhero. As an adult, I see him as a human and a man; one I still deeply admire and respect. I learned some incredibly valuable life lessons from him. Lessons I have already been passing on.

 I’d like to share them with you, too:

1. Generosity doesn’t have to be complicated. Just give. No strings attached.
2. Never, ever call yourself stupid.
3. Take joy in the little things in life. Yell.  Jump up and down and holler. Don’t worry about what anyone else thinks while you do so. Never be afraid to look silly.
4. Stuff is just stuff. Money is just money. These things are not the important parts of life. They are replaceable.
5. Work hard. Do your very best.
6. Smile and look people in the eye.
7. Don’t ever judge someone else’s music. Keep an open mind.
8. Every person has value and worth. Do not judge and never think you’re better than someone else.
9. Apologize and mean it when you’re wrong.
10. Notice, appreciate, and enjoy the beauty in nature and animals.
11. Don’t be afraid to laugh at yourself.
12. Treat yourself sometimes. Save some money for a trip and then spend it. Do not worry about money while you do so.
13. Always make sure that your family knows how much you love them.
14. Give hugs and high fives. Celebrate other people’s success with them.  Jealousy is a useless emotion.
15. Worry is a useless emotion.
16. Play board games as often as you can.
17. If you’re sick keep your germs away from other people as best you can.
18. If you fart and it stinks, warn the people around you so they can leave if necessary.