Author Archives: Lauren Dack

letters to my son

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Dear Friend,

I’ve had the idea to write a series of letters revealing life lessons to my son, Caleb for some time now.  Well, today is the day I turn my idea into action!

I hope to give these letters to Caleb throughout his childhood at the ages I feel he’ll be ready for them. These letters will just be the substance to the lessons and certainly not the only time we discuss them. For instance, instead of doing a “sex talk” we’ll be having age appropriate conversations all throughout his childhood.

But first, I want to share with you why I’m doing this:

My mom died when she was 29.  We celebrated my first birthday in the hospital weeks before she died.

I am 28.

Now, I’m not planning on dying any time soon. I certainly pray I live past 29, but it’s been my experience that when you lose someone close to you, you become much more aware of your mortality. And so, it is with the awareness that I am not guaranteed tomorrow that I begin these letters.

I’m sharing them with you because I’m praying you’ll benefit from them in some way and maybe even decide to have some conversations yourself… whether it be with your child or your inner child!

Blessings to you on your journey,

Lauren

true beauty

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In the award winning children’s novel, “A Wrinkle in Time,” the main character, Meg is trying to explain seeing to a creature from another world:

“Well, it’s what things look like,” Meg said helplessly.“We do not know what things look like, as you say,” the beast said. “We know what things are like. It must be a very limiting thing, this seeing.”

After reading this, I spent several minutes soaking in the depth and truth of this passage. Now, don’t get me wrong. I am so grateful for my sight! I love being able to see my family and friends, to be able to read, and having my breath taken away by the beauty of a sunset reflecting on the water…but I am very aware of the limitations that seeing presents, such as:

Judging others based on the way they look or dress. We are limited when we miss the opportunity to know someone special because of the way he or she looks. We are limited when we allow ourselves to feel ugly in comparison to models and movie stars. We are limited when we focus on perfecting what we see in the mirror, instead of perfecting who we are.

Since I wouldn’t wish away my vision and I’m sure you wouldn’t either, I propose we try this: let’s try living in an awareness that beauty is fleeting and has been distorted. And most importantly: it really is what is inside that counts.

If you haven’t already seen this amazing video on beauty distorted, check it out:

dems fightin’ words

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Five sure fire ways to start a fight with someone you love today:

  1. “You always __________________!”(forget to…., mess that up, try to upset me, etc)
  2. “You never ____________________!” (listen, do what I want, tell me I’m beautiful…)
  3. “You are such a ________________!” (insert mean name/label here)
  4. “You make me _______________!” (crazy, insane, angry…)
  5. “You asked for it!” (same principle as #4, anything that blames your partner for your behavior)

Five tips that will decrease the probability of a fight:

  1. “I feel ____________ (insert emotion, ex. “hurt”) when you _____________.”(insert specific behavior. Ex. “when you forgot to call me when you said you would”) This works because you are talking about your feelings over a specific behavior. You’re not blaming or making untrue all or nothing statements. When you say, “You always forget to call me!” instead of making your point and feelings heard, your partner is immediately put on the defensive.
  2. “Thank you!”
  3. “Please”
  4. “I love you!”
  5. “May I give you a back massage?”

Good luck!